23 Skidoo Over And Out
William S. Burroughs prepares to draw a bead on film "funny" man Jim Carey - that's see, ay, arr, eee, why? Because he's a gurning, rubber-faced, hopelessly unfunny, gormless arsehole messing around with things he hasn't a hope in Hell of understanding.
Captain Clark welcomes you aboard ... 23 years without an accident ... until tonight ... straight to the bottom with 23 dead. The soccer scores are coming in from the Capital.23, whether in the I Ching, Morse code or Crowleyian magick indicates a breaking, a sundering. Once you start to notice the preponderance of the number, it is startling how often it turns up ... this may be synchronicity or a clue to how your perception works, when you point it in a particular direction. As Burroughs suggested , you can't tell anyone anything, but merely show them what they already know.
The Qabala, numerology, Jungian myth, magick, physics, mathematics, biology - the number 23 turns up again and again in occult systems and 'real' science. Even a cursory search across the Internet throws up an infinite array of information centred on 23, here for instance. Like many others, I first became aware of this phenomenom due to it being one of the elements swirling around in Burroughs' nexus of obsessions (along with Venusian lizard boys, the hanged man's orgasm, the viral nature of language, guns and narcotics).
The power of 23, known to such arch conspiracy connoisseurs as Burroughs, Aleister Crowley and Robert Anton Wilson - now reduced to a vulgar fucking joke of a horror movie by two of the dullest little simpletons in the business - 'wacky' Jim Carey and 'camp'n'kitsch' Joel Schumacher. Isn't there some kind of law we can invoke to stop this? Can't members of 'The Legion of Dynamic Discord' at least hunt them down and give them a good thrashing?
I remember a few years ago when all this featured in the papers ... something to do with David Beckham, of all people. And now the lazy hacks that run the media are dragging it all out again to publicize a dreadful piece of Hollywood hokey ... some workshy little researcher, straight out of Oxbridge, can't even be bothered to do anything but supply said hack with the same witless articles ... this time dressed up with a few publicity shots of our boy Carey.
Truly, one could weep.
posted by St. Anthony at Wednesday, February 28, 2007
19 Comments:
I genuinely find odd numbers unsettling apart from 13.
Why is that? Some cultures regard odd numbers as lucky, some unlucky ... similar thing for 13in particular.
I have an iredeemably literary bent, but words are arbitrary ... numbers are the real thing, the building blocks of the universe.
It is quite sad, isn't it? I have nothing against Carey, but Schumacher is possibly the worst director that ever lived. Check out 'The Phone Booth' - it's so bad it's astonishing.
Schumacher ... what a prat. What a CV, what a collection of duds.
The Phantom Of The Opera not being the worst of the bunch - what a frightening thought.
Schumacher...fucking terrible; yeah, possibly the worst director alive...poor old Uwe Bohl doesn't deserve half the shit he gets, whereas Schumacher lives to make another really bad film and another and another...
Carey's tried very hard to make himself seem edgier; he's picked some interesting films ("Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", etc) when he could've ploughed the same furrow again and again; strangely I don't have a problem with him. "Dumb and Dumber" is pretty funny in a puerile way that only a saddo like me might dig; surely it's The Two Stooges, innit.
I got onto an MA course by writing a scathing critique of Phone Booth - quite possibly one of the worst films I've seen. The title sequence was the best thing about it.
Speaking of Phone Booth...
Colin Farrell: he's a talentless tosspot. And annoying with it too.
Yes, I've got no problem with someone like Bohl ... a good scuzzy horror movie, just what you want. Someone like Schumacher, the way his terrible films are dressed up as quality productions - big budget, big stars ... fucking awful.
And Colin Farrell, where do you start? Never seen him give a likeable performance; and his off-screen persona ... all that low-grade, low-class 'hell-raising'. Bring back Errol Flynn, that's what I say.
I have to agree that Farrell is an Uber-Tosser, though it does seem his career is nose-diving fast. Let's hope so anyway.
And Schumacher..my last word on him..'Batman & Robin'..not only an absolute mess of a movie, but a criminal waste of Alicia Silverstone in rubber. I may have to go & post a pic right now.
Just a footnote: I do think Carrey is brilliant in 'Man On The Moon'.
You know, I've heard you say "a criminal waste of Alicia Silverstone in rubber" so many times over the years (usually on about yr 4th pint) that I think it ought to be on yr gravestone LOL!
I've never seen "Man on the Moon" (keep meaning too) but its had a lot of props from people I trust.
Apparently Farrell went into rehab about a year ago for the ubiquitous 'pain-killer abuse following a back problem' schtick. Why can't they just fucking come out and say "coke with vicodin chasers to bring him down".
Farrell ... the hubris of thinking he could portray Alexander. The prick.
"A criminal waste of Alicia Silverstone in rubber" ... hey, there's a lot of wise men known for far less profound observations.
"The prick." LOL!
In the same way that Farrell is over-rated I think Robert Downey Jr is terribly under-rated. I hope he eventually gets the recognition he deserves. Even his performance in the Sam Taylor-Wood Elton John promo "I Want Love" was searingly painful in such a pure way. The man's a tortured genius.
PS: I'm not really a fan at all of STW or Elton although I quite like Beastie Boys version of Benny and the Jets.
Sorry, RM, I can't hack Robert Downey Jr either....he just doesn't add up for me. I guess him appearing in the Reg Dwight vid is a fellow coke fiend reference thing; they prob. go to the same celeb NA meetings. His dad was a pretty groovy director tho. (But don't think you can much of his stuff on dvd) Don't like RDJr but strangely have a soft spot for Christian Slater, contrary cuss that I am.
Robert Downey Sr ... now he's done some interesting things ... he was a real independent film-maker, not like the corporate indies these
days.
Christian Slater ... what's that film where he's a cop or something and Morgan Freeman is out to rob the bank during a flood? I quite liked that. I've got a soft spot for Morgan Freeman. I'd vote for him ... where he actually standing for president, and were I a Yank.
"what's that film where he's a cop or something and Morgan Freeman is out to rob the bank during a flood?" ....it's "Hard Rain" I think...yeah, I really like that; it's a superior B-movie, like "Anaconda" or "Deep Rising" or (the most recent) "Slither"...
Deep Rising, a good example of the first rank of B movie ... Anaconda too. Must have seen that film four times by now ... for my sins.
I've got all the time in the world for good old-fashioned horror movies.
What was it Stephen King said about that old giant mutant bear flick Prophecy? Something about him knowing it was a shitty film, badly written, directed and acted, terrible special effects ...all in all a miserable example of film-making, but he'd seen it something like ten times and writing about it he wanted to go and see it again.
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